What Really is the Purpose?
I am starting to wonder what the real purpose of an MFA program is. To one degree, it should be a sandbox, a place where you can try something new, expose it to your colleagues, get feedback and critiques, and grow - all without judgment. Criticism, sure, but not judgment. On the other hand, it is a limited time frame endeavor that ultimately asks a lot of the student in terms of graduation requirements and deadlines.
It seems to me that these two concepts are at odds with each other. How can you be expected to play without consequence when a very real consequence of inaction is looming in the very near future, nine months down the road?
I misspoke in class yesterday and started an uproar. What I said was that Rin was a project that I could complete, which is why it was worth doing. What I really meant with that, though, was that it is a clean concept that I think has the potential to make much larger statements that I can explore, write about, engage with, and complete. And yes, completion is a huge part of that. What I didn't mean to imply is "What the hell, I may as well do something..."
Oh boy. That is not in any way, shape, or form what I meant, but I understand the outcry. It is difficult to go through a process such as this and a million times more difficult to realize that the thing you really want to say, that thing that is burrowed deep in your subconscious, or boring its way into your marrow, is not something that you can get out on a deadline.
It isn't that I intend to stop pursuing all of these black demons, this murder of chaos and light, but instead that I am starting to feel the pressure that a project of that nature is a "personal time" endeavor. It doesn't make sense now. Not to me, not to anyone. It might not for years, decades. Unfortunately, I don't have years and decades and a focused concept is required in the next two weeks, sooooo....
I have my first meeting with my committee today. In some ways I think my honest approach to this reality isn't helping my cause. The cause being actually graduating with a project that I don't hate. Hate and want to burn. But, lying to myself or those who are guiding me is not my style. I hate lying. It is the ugliest thing about humanity and too often justified. So, I might be screwing myself over, but the honest to God truth of the matter is, I need a f@&king concept. Take it or leave it, I can't keep flitting around with no focus.
It seems to me that these two concepts are at odds with each other. How can you be expected to play without consequence when a very real consequence of inaction is looming in the very near future, nine months down the road?
I misspoke in class yesterday and started an uproar. What I said was that Rin was a project that I could complete, which is why it was worth doing. What I really meant with that, though, was that it is a clean concept that I think has the potential to make much larger statements that I can explore, write about, engage with, and complete. And yes, completion is a huge part of that. What I didn't mean to imply is "What the hell, I may as well do something..."
Oh boy. That is not in any way, shape, or form what I meant, but I understand the outcry. It is difficult to go through a process such as this and a million times more difficult to realize that the thing you really want to say, that thing that is burrowed deep in your subconscious, or boring its way into your marrow, is not something that you can get out on a deadline.
It isn't that I intend to stop pursuing all of these black demons, this murder of chaos and light, but instead that I am starting to feel the pressure that a project of that nature is a "personal time" endeavor. It doesn't make sense now. Not to me, not to anyone. It might not for years, decades. Unfortunately, I don't have years and decades and a focused concept is required in the next two weeks, sooooo....
I have my first meeting with my committee today. In some ways I think my honest approach to this reality isn't helping my cause. The cause being actually graduating with a project that I don't hate. Hate and want to burn. But, lying to myself or those who are guiding me is not my style. I hate lying. It is the ugliest thing about humanity and too often justified. So, I might be screwing myself over, but the honest to God truth of the matter is, I need a f@&king concept. Take it or leave it, I can't keep flitting around with no focus.
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